Should An Adult Child Get Paid For Caring For An Aging Parent?

Attitudes about the obligation to provide care for an aging parent in failing health vary. In some families, there is an unspoken expectation that it is the daughter’s job to provide this care, despite the fact that there is no legal obligation for any particular person to do so. Rarely does the son or son-in-law of the elder step in and volunteer to do the work. There are exceptions, but most caregivers are women in these situations.

Here at AgingParents.com, where we consult with families, we see the daughter or daughter-in-law simply taking leadership and stepping in to do the job of caregiving, without being asked. Conflicts arise after a time, particularly when the job goes from part time to around the clock as the aging parent’s health declines over time. The caregiving daughter asks for help from other family members and doesn’t get it. She gets resentful. Such situations worsen when the non-participants criticize the caregiver over what she is doing or not doing. The issue of money is entangled in the resentment. Some caregivers in families leave their paid jobs to take care of an aging parent.