Feeling Guilty: Adult Son Hesitates To Spend Mom’s Money On Her Care

It’s an issue for some adult children with aging parents. When the elders need care, there is resistance to using the parent’s own funds to cover the cost of caregiving. It’s puzzling.

For example, faithful son (FS) has been taking care of his mom by himself for 25 years. He lives in her home and pays all the bills. He works full time at a physically demanding job. No siblings help in any way. All are estranged. Mom, now 90 years old, fell, had to be hospitalized and then went to rehab. Prior to that, she was fine at home during the weekdays. After the fall, she got very depressed, as she lost her independence. FS has to work to support himself and Mom, though Mom does have some savings and a house that is free and clear. FS sought advice at AgingParents.com. He said he felt guilty using her money to hire the caregiver we urged him to hire.